| I know what kind of friends I have...................And that makes me happy. |
[Apr. 1st, 2009|10:58 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | Bedroom | ] |
| [ | mood |
| |  happy | ] |
I've been working my butt off at my job, and that's part of the reason that I ended up with a cold this past weekend. The other part was that a co-worker gave it to me.
As I lay in bed Monday night, sniffling, sneezing, and coughing up a storm, trying my best to ignore things, I got an IM from my friend Sarah. She asked me how I was and I told her the truth.
What amazed me was what she said next. She asked me if there was anything she could do and if she wanted me to come over. It was 10:30p.m. by that point, and I didn't want her driving back to the school in the middle of the night. I told her no, but thanked her for her kind thoughts.
I've never had a friend offer that. EVER.
Thank you, Sarah!! |
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| I'm sick of this BS!!!!! |
[Oct. 14th, 2008|03:15 pm] |
I'm making this statement for the last time. If you've got a problem with me and who I hang out with, bring it up with me. Don't go talking to one of my closest friends behind my back, because even if you tell said person not to say anything, said person is going to tell me anyway because they feel that I have a right to know.
I want to apologize to everyone for my strange behavior during AUSA. I was lucky enough to go and due to the fact that I had just moved out of my parents house the week before, my emotions were all over the place.
But, that aside, that doesn't give anyone the right to go to someone that I've known for years and tell them about my behavior at a con when it isn't any of their business concerning what I do and who I'm friends with.
JUST FUCKING DROP IT ALREADY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm so tired of this bullshit and it's driven me to point where I'm going to say that I'm done.
I'm doing one last convention and that's it. I'm not going to AB next year. I'm not even going to ANext. I'm sick of it. I've reached the point where I don't even know who my true friends are anymore. That's why I'm pulling myself out of the situation. I feel that I have to do this now before I change my mind. |
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| Happy Days are here again.............. |
[Jun. 11th, 2007|02:07 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | My bedroom | ] |
| [ | mood |
| |  giddy | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Colors-Flow | ] |
Hey Guys!!
Well, things are going well for me, for once. I'm getting more hours at work, things are going well at home, and I've been enjoying the company of friends when I can get together with them.
The only thing that I'm having problems with is getting ready for AnimeNext. I've just got so much to get together.
Also, my friend Heero(Atlanta Chris) has said that he was going to come up and see me in time for Katsucon2008. I'm so pleased that my bugging him for the past 18 months has finally paid off. |
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| I'll do whatever it takes to accomplish my goals...... |
[Jun. 5th, 2007|05:46 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | Bedroom | ] |
| [ | mood |
| | determined | ] |
I'm not sure if everyone knows this, but I've been saying for the past couple of years that I wanted to go to Japan. Well, it's going to happen.
We're still working out most of the details on the trip, but we'll probably be going this November, but I'm gonna have to discipline myself after AnimeNext. I need a lot of money for this trip, so I've got to force myself to hang onto as much cash as I possibly can. If that means that there are trips to the city that I have to give up, then so be it.
I'll do whatever it takes for me to afford this trip.
On another note, if anyone has read KaineMaxwell's LJ lately, you'll have seen the announcement about JACC's 1st Annual Cosplay Picnic. If there are any of you that wish to attend, please feel free to e-mail me as soon as possible. The picnic will be held on Saturday, June 23rd at 12:30p.m. |
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| New Year, New Me |
[Jan. 5th, 2007|10:20 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | Basement computer | ] |
| [ | mood |
| | determined | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Call Me When You're Sober-Evanescence | ] |
It's the start of the new year, so I've decided to change. I've made a New Years' Resolution that I intend to keep working on for the rest of my life, and if I should falter in my task, I give permission to my closest friends to hit me.
My resolution this year is to try and not cause any drama around me, no matter what the situation.
Also, I plan on taking care of all my responsibilities at home, at work, and also when it concerns JACC. |
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| I see right thru to you................. |
[Nov. 28th, 2006|12:04 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  gloomy | ] |
| [ | music |
| | I see right thru to you.................. | ] |
I'm only going to say this one last time. If someone has a problem with me, bring it up with me and no one else.
Yes, I admit that I've done stupid things. Really stupid things. But who hasn't??
Let me clarify a couple of things for people that don't know me as well.
First off, I have A.D.D.(Attention Deficit Disorder). Add in the fact that I have a few attitude problems. Basically that means that if I get frustrated or if I have a major headache, I will fly off the handle. It's happened many times before. They're not my proudest moments, but these moments are a part of me, like it or not. I have tried for the past 17 years to keep my overreactions under control, but every once in awhile, it slips out and I lost control of my actions.
I've started getting in control, but as I mentioned above, It slips out every once in awhile. I just wanted to apologize to anyone that has been around me when I get like that. I'm sorry.
Second, someone who will remain nameless has brought it to my attention that I act like a 10 year old, that if I don't get my way, I'll stomp my feet and cry, and that I also try to leech popularity and other such things from people around me. I'm making this point very clear. I am 24 years old chronologically, but, as much as I hate to admit it, I have the mentality of a 15 year old at times. I try to be myself around people because I want them to like me for who I really am, but the hard part about that is that I don't know who I really am. All I really wanted was to have friends and fit in. I was the basic social through out my grade school career up until my junior year of high school. I was finally making friends and I was happy.
When I started college, I met Maxwell. I was taking summer courses at CCM(County College of Morris) at the time. I met him when we were waiting for the bus to Dover. We got to talking, realized that we had a few common interests and started hanging out a lot. There was a point where we lost touch, but we ended up hanging out a lot again.
He's one of the people that I've hurt badly with my violent outbursts, and I feel terrible about it. During TurkeyCon, when he was away from the table, I started telling a story from a former convention experience that I will not mention ever again, but he was upset and I completely lost it. I tried strangling him in the restaurant we were in and I stalked out.
That whole thing has been haunting me since it happened. I wish I could take it back. I wish I could take everything back, but, unfortunately, I can't.
It didn't hit me until later, but when I was lying in my bed, in the dark that night, I cried myself to sleep because I knew then that had done irreversible damage to a very cherished friendship. I hurt not only him, but myself because of how I reacted.
Maxwell, I am truly sorry for everything that I have done and/or said to you. I swear to you now that I will never mention that story again to anyone. |
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| This has been a week from hell................... |
[Nov. 23rd, 2006|07:47 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | exhausted | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Morning Glow (Yuna's Theme) | ] |
It's been one exhausting, depressing day after another. I've been busting my ass at work to please my boss, and unfortunately, he hasn't really taken much notice of my hard work.
Another thing that's been very upsetting is the fact that I've got this great skit planned for Katsucon2007, but I can't find three important characters that I need. I need a Rikku, Lulu, and Paine to complete the entire group. Not to mention that the rules for the Katsu Masquerade haven't been posted yet, and I know that I'm not the only one that's annoyed by this.
Oh well. I'll live. Maybe now since Thanksgiving is over and done with, I can finally relax. |
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| It's just been one of those really exhausting days............ |
[Nov. 9th, 2006|11:37 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | exhausted | ] |
I'm amazed that I've been able to keep my eyes open long enough to write this in. I am so tired right now it's not even funny.
I've been moving non-stop since I woke up this morning, and then I went to work and was moving so fast that I could barely catch my breath. I was taking customer after customer after customer, and when the lines were slow, I was helping my boss take down the fall decorations that were hanging around the front end of the store.
I love my job and all, but I'd like to have some time to catch my breath every once in a while. I mean seriously. Does my boss really want me passing out while I'm on the clock?! |
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| I'm breaking the silence................. |
[Nov. 1st, 2006|10:09 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | happy | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Cloud Smiles-FFVII:AC Original Soundtrack | ] |
Okay, okay................I know. It's been ages since I've posted here, but I just felt like I needed to.
Things are finally starting to turn around for me. I'm working pretty much every day now, except for the weekends, I'm able to hang out with friends more, and to tell you the truth, I couldn't be happier.
Well, I could be, but I'm not going to complain about it. I wish I was able to afford an apartment, but that's still slightly off in the distance, but I'm getting closer. The other thing that's getting closer is my 24th birthday. Yikes!! This year has gone by so fast. I mean, it's just flown by.
Oh well, I guess that's just the way life is. If you don't stop once in awile to enjoy it, you'll miss it. |
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| I'm tired.......................................... |
[Dec. 21st, 2005|03:18 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  stressed | ] |
I'm going to try and say this in the nicest way possible. I'm sick of people teling me to do this and not doing anything themselves.
I was on the phone last night with kainemaxwell, and we were discussing a gathering that would be happening next Friday. I thought of the idea, but now he's telling me what I'm supposed to do. Maxwell, if you want something done right, do it yourself. Just because I thought of the idea does not mean that I have to do every damn thing. I'm tired of everyone relying on me to set things up and never getting any response.
I get enough of that crappy treatment from my family. I don't need it from my friends. |
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| Reflecting on the past month..................... |
[Sep. 11th, 2005|02:01 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | depressed | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Gundam Seed Destiny-Fields of Hope | ] |
It's been months since I've posted in here. I just haven't really had the inspiration to write about anything.
This summer has had its ups and downs, but all in all, it wasn't so bad.
I just wanted to say one thing. I wanted to apologize to anyone and everyone that I may have hurt or upset over the summer. I am truly sorry. But please, from now on, if you're mad at me, please talk to me about it. I'd really like to know what I'm doing wrong that upsets you in any way, shape, or form.
I'm not perfect. I make mistakes just like everyone else, but what I really want to do is to know what they are so that I'll try my hardest to stop making them. |
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| *Sigh* Looks like I'm out of a job.............Again........... |
[Jul. 6th, 2005|11:45 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | depressed | ] |
As some of you know, I've been working at a comic book shop for the past three and a half months and I thought things were going great. I was enjoying my job, and I thought things were fine.
I came in for work on time this morning and went about my usual duties of cleaning the store and setting up the register for customers. My boss called me into his office and basically said, in the nicest way possible, that I could work today and Saturday, but after that, I no longer work here.
I'm beginning to wonder if my life's really worth it. I swear, something good happens to me, but a couple of months later, things are going down. |
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| I guess I was right.......................... |
[Jun. 1st, 2005|11:33 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | depressed | ] |
| [ | music |
| | InuYasha-Longing | ] |
I had a feeling that I was right....................
Why do I even bother pouring out my feelings when no one cares enough to read them and ask me if anything's wrong?? Why do I even bother trying to fit in?? I guess I was just meant to stand out. |
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| Why do I even bother?? |
[May. 31st, 2005|11:15 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | depressed | ] |
| [ | music |
| | How Soon is Now- Charmed Theme | ] |
I'm beginning to wonder if any of my friends even realize that I exist. I mean, I'll call people, but I'll either never get a response, or they'll call me back two months later. I'm sick and tired of it.
I just wish that at least one of my friends called me and invited me to hang out in the city, or go to the movies, or do anything.
I'm really starting to wonder if my life has any meaning at all.................................. |
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| I'm still in a daze.................................. |
[May. 4th, 2005|11:31 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | giddy | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Kirari Sailor Dream- PGSM Opening | ] |
I never thought that I'd be in such a good mood.
I was half asleep on Sunday nigh when I got a phone call from DJRanmaS. It had been an exhausting day at Sakura Matsuri. It took me, my friend Jesse, Tom, and Victor at least two hours to get to the Brooklyn Botanical Gardens, but that was because we had missed our train, so I drove Victor's car to Summit and we took the next train leaving for New York. Upon arriving @ Penn Station, we raced through the station to meet up with the rest of our group. DressDragn and the others were already @ the Gardens, so we immediately got on the subway and headed up.
We left the gardens as they were closing and I ended up having a massive allergy attack. I spent the entire subway ride back to Penn Station with my eyes closed.
Upon arriving back in Summit, we walked back to the car and drove back to my place, but on the way, we stopped to get something to eat. I called up DJRanmaS as we were walking back to the car to see how the convention went and if he had fufilled the promise he made me. He had promised that he would try his best to get me an autograph from Scott McNeill, who happens to be one of my favorite voice actors.
Of course, he forgot, which hurt, because I've tried my hardest to meet this guy. I've wanted to meet him for four years now.
Anyway, Victor, Jesse, Tom, and I headed back to my place where we relaxed for awhile before they went home. Exhausted and still somewhat upset with Ranma, I went to bed, forgetting that I left my cell phone on.
It wasn't until 12:30a.m. that I got a phone call from Ranma, who said that he had a surprise for me. The next thing I know, I hear an extremely familiar voice on the other end of the line say, "So, I hear you wanted to talk to me, Princess." It was Scott McNeill. I couldn't believe it!! I was so shocked. He's a really nice guy, BTW.
I also got to speak to the young woman that first got me interested in cosplaying, Tristen Citrene. She was so sweet. I apologize if I sounded a little weird. My nose was so stuffed up that it was hard for me to breathe.
All in all, I'd say that Sunday was the best day for me, even though I felt horrible. |
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| I'm tired of all this..................... |
[Apr. 5th, 2005|01:15 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | depressed | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Nobody's Home-Avril Lavigne | ] |
I'm tired of the fact that so many of my friends take me for granted. It's like I'm just the person that carries the bags, or I'm the ride to the movies.
Right now, I feel like I'm standing in the middle of a crowded room, screaming at the top of my lungs, and no one looks up. I'm beginning to think that everyone would be better off without me hanging around. |
|
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| I want to apologize................ |
[Mar. 15th, 2005|09:49 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | melancholy | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Garnet Moon-Hitomi Shimatani | ] |
Look, I wanted to apologize to everyone for complaining about my life. I shouldn't be. I mean, my life could be a lot worse.
I'm just sick and tired of not having a job. It's been a year since I worked last and I'm tired of sitting at home doing nothing.
I also wanted to offer my condolences to _sailormoon_ for her loss. I know how you feel and I know that it hurts to lose someone you love, but think of it this way. I believe that every person has a talent, and when they die, a little bit of that person's talent becomes a part of you. |
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| What's wrong with me?? |
[Feb. 28th, 2005|02:02 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | sad | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Patiently-Emma Lahana | ] |
I had a good day today, but why do I feel so horrible?? It's like nothing's going my way anymore. All I want in life is to be happy, but no matter what I do, I end up miserable............ |
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| I give up........................... |
[Feb. 20th, 2005|12:20 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | melancholy | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Seether feat.Amy Lee-Broken | ] |
Let's face it. I can't do anything right. I'm extremely pathetic in the eyes of my parents and.................Oh, why do I even bother?? It's not like it really matters.
I give up................................................. |
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| Out of the darkness and into the light...............I'll Breakaway................. |
[Feb. 18th, 2005|06:07 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | lonely | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Avril Lavigne-Nobody's Home | ] |
I know, I know...I'm beginning to sound extremely pathetic.............I just wish that I had been able to go to Katsu with everyone else. I know that I'm getting time to work on my Princess Jupiter dress, and finalize some details concerning the JACC (Jersey Anime Cosplay Crew) Photoshoot, but I can't help but feel jealous.
I know I'm not the only one missing it, but unlike some people that are not going, I'm broke. Just pray that my dog-walking business works out, because if it doesn't, I'm screwed for any future conventions. |
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